Adopted

          Since I was a child I can remember being alone and feeling alone. I always longed for someone or something to hold on to that will last, because I knew subconsciously that there was nothing to rely on.           Every person I met I wondered what they were hiding from me, and I doubted that I would be able to trust them. I shunned new people, did not trust in their kindness. It made no sense to me that anyone would be kind to me. I felt I was damaged goods, that nobody would want to take a second look at me if they saw what was inside. Inside it was just empty, screaming, gaping, festering, angry rawness. Nobody was to know, because I could not risk the shame and murder of myself if I was rejected once again. I say now once again, but then I did not know why it was like this, I did not know the reason I felt this way. It just covered my life like a huge black darkness. It was impossible to escape it.            But Now I will open up to it and own it. It has taken too