A Trigger- Feeling Stupid

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One huge trigger of mine is forgetting what I learned and feeling like a loser for not being smarter to remember it. It makes me lose footing and I erupt in anger as my daughter doesn't fall sleep, or I did not prepare dinner in time, or my husband annoys me through my projection of him being lazy cuz I feel so. These things helps to keep in mind for those moments, because it could bring me back to reality. That it is just a trigger and I am okay the way I am. 
I am really hard on myself. That comes from having to be tough and alone for myself in my childhood. I don't believe anyone cares about me subconsciously, and I have to keep proving my worth to myself.

But I wonder if it's better to keep telling myself to have faith, or to try to face my pain and stroke it with encouragement? This is a dilemma I have because of my religious upbringing of having to believe in God's plan through hardships.

I believe it helps to have faith when I am ready to give up, emergency times, being in the trauma vortex, and then when I am feeling less triggered its important to learn about my childhood to see how my emotions were formed, so that I can learn next time how to lessen the blows.

So Long 

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