Not Good To Cut Off Family - It's Not Setting Boundaries

          Stay in yourself emotionally, connected with yourself and remain emotionally neutral, while dealing with toxic and unhealthy people. Emotional Cutting off is not helpful. It is not the boundary that defines the emotional cut off, but our emotional state and reactivity that defines the cut off. Thank you Jerry Wise. Video is called Setting Boundaries is Not Emotionally Cutting Off- Guest Self Differentiation Expert Jerry Wise. He says when you cut off your family, it does not help your life, and affects your other relationships. This is true in my life, and I feel uncomfortable about cutting off my sister and husband's family. I need to learn how to deal with their behaviors inside, and control my own reactivity to feel neutral.
           He said when you have unresolved fantasies and unrealistic expectations of the relationship with a family member, it can cause you to want to emotionally cut off from them. This made me think of how I get annoyed at my husband because I feel he is trying too hard to get them to see him, and I brought this up to him and he answered that this is NOT what he is trying to do. He told me he accepts that they do not see him, that they are emotionally unavailable, childish and unseeing their problems. I got angry and said then he should cut them off. But he said that won't help, because they will just complain and get angry and not support us anymore. I thought that was selfish and weak of him, but I agreed deep down that cutting off is equally childish and won't get us anywhere except have resentments and will be fueled by vengeance and anger. So I realize that we both need to become more emotional neutral inside with our reactions, and strengthen our emotional health. We both get nervous with each other for trying to get our parents to change and see us, though. Cutting off won't help things because it brings the relationship to be more destructive, even though it is not physically close.