Finding Your negative Imprint and Integrating Towards Purpose Here

        Okay I found out something shocking and life changing. It makes so much sense about my self now. Teal Swan said in Find Your Negative Imprint, Find Your Life Purpose, that the worst pain you experience when the person you love the most leaves you is your core imprint that you came to this world to experience in the opposite form. We need to move towards integration of it, and it is a life time process. This makes so much sense. She said for example hers is Forsaken, and the opposite for her is Reclamation, which means finding connection to herself, source, and helping others connect. She said sometimes you think it's one thing, such as she thought her imprint was freedom because she felt so powerless so many times in life, but then you find it's something else later on.

        Your core negative imprint is the root around which your whole life grows from. It is what you came into this life to transform in this incarnation. In other words its your main purpose in life to use the contrast of that particular negative feeling signature to find and become its opposite.

      Until we intergrade it for the rest of our lives it will reflect itself again and again primarily in your relationships. "Because relationships provide the meat of the contrasts we experience here on earth." The feeling signature feels the same in each relationship, its the one that keeps repeating. :) 

       She says she teaches people how to reclaim themselves, relationship with others, and reclaim their relationship with source. I am so happy. It makes sense why I feel so empty unless I am doing things and moving towards the opposite experience of my worst pain. I always felt deeply and this reflects in my song choices, deep despair. Intensity is what others and myself have described me as. I feel annihilated and nullified when my loved ones leave me, and when I experience my worst pain and shame. This comes about even when small rejections happen, such as when I share a private information of myself with someone and they dismiss it as "weird" or "cultish." It cuts me to the core, and it takes a while to overcome. I have to remind myself that they don't get to decide if I am worthy of being alive and myself or not. I guess the opposite of that feeling would be "Revive," as I chose from the antonym list. I need to Revive myself, so I can help see myself and feel like I can make a difference.

           For example, I often don't feel like I do make any difference, such as when my daughter is needing attention and I am too tired to be there for her. I feel I am not showing up, and so there is no point in taking care of her. I realized that this is also because I feel infantile myself, and need others to mirror me to feel SEEN, just like my baby. When I saw this, it hit me that that was why I could not mirror her properly, and show that I see her grief or happiness, because I did not feel real unless someone mirrored me. So I watched myself, and saw that I was feeling down.