Separating myself to Be Stronger to Others
Found myself much calmer on the train then usual yesterday. I kept to myself and didn't care what others thought as much. I was no longer trying to hide myself out of shame. I am prouder and more confident about who I am. I know I am not crazy, and have more trust in my ability to function normally. This was also in the adoption group meeting I went to. I feel I have my head in charge of my feelings more now, and I see that it is because I understand and validate my pain more. When I have a moment of feeling awkward, I go in and ask myself why instead of freezing up and bolting. I saw it caused my daughter to be calmer too, and she was resting happily in my carrier, just watching the people. I did get triggered when a woman made an angry face at her for some odd reason, and I realized it was her problem and silently wished her to feel better about her life. This is what happens when I face my pain more and let myself go in feeling my sorrow.
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