Stuck In the Ego Stage, Nothing Wrong with It. Admitting It Starts Healing

           I realized that we look for people to save us from feeling empty because of our neglectful childhood. We are all running from the same thing. Life feels so empty sometimes when all you have to face is your self. When you were taught that your very needs are despicable in your infant stage. So you feel shame for being human.

            We feel empty inside, and are stuck in our developmental stage of unmet childhood needs. Therefore, we kind of expect others to take care of us, as we sit back waiting for a rescue. This is why we do not move, because we want the comfort of a caregiver. Shame prevents us from admitting it. But I see it in my husband and my life, in our marriage. He comes home and waits for me to make his day interesting, as he "unwinds." And I long for his arrival home so that he can give me purpose and take away my desolate feeling of emptiness, and clear my mind. This is how we stay stuck. And I realize he cannot save me, and I cannot make him feel better either. It is scary to see it, that we can go all the way to hell this way without doing anything about it. An eternal child. That would cause us endless regret for the sorrow in life that we had by feeling we could not make a difference. We could not live out our true dreams and desires for ourselves. Because of the shame that we are bad and too "Ego-tistical."

         But that is the thing. We are all living in ego stage. That is why you look around on social media and see people selling their pride and dignity just for narcissistic attention. It is a never-ending black hole, though, because the outer attention won't truly satisfy them ever until they accept themselves.