Truth Sets Free

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             By being vulnerable and facing painful feelings we are more real and more truthful and have greater chance of having bonds with people. Even with the birth family it helps if someone is honest and truthful about being adopted because many times birth families are frozen in time from when the adoption happened. When we come they are opened up to the truth a bit more. Woman said an adopted 12 year old was all curious about her meeting her birth mother and asked questions and since then the adoptive parents never invited her again. Because they felt uncomfortable with their daughter's bringing up her side of the story.

             The truth sets you free, even though it may be difficult at times. At least you acknowledge what is happening inside you. For me I didn't really start living until I faced my pain and wounds. Then I felt more truthful and myself. And now I go through pain every day, and I was just wondering this morning if it was worth it to face it when it didn't seem to make things better. But I learned from the meeting that it is important to say the truth, because sometimes no one else is. And we are the strong ones for facing it all. All the other people involved in adoption want to ignore its' significance, and move on like it never affected anyone. But when we come back, everyone is frozen in time to "when the baby was given up" that you know it's real. They can't face it because it means threatens their own perspectives- that they were better off not having this baby, or that the family was better this way. Or the adoptive parents want to believe this baby will solve all their pain of not having their own kin. So they ignore the adoptee's feelings.

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