Adoptees and The Struggle Of Connecting To Others

          I think that adoptees have a harder time being comfortable in their skin because of the primal wound, than even people who come from their birth dysfunctional homes. They constantly monitor their realities trying to please everyone around them because they do not know how to feel comfortable with themselves. This is what happens when you were left as a baby by your mother, never to return for you. We go into disassociation when meeting new people, because we see them as a potential abandonment again. I freeze in a room of people. Even with my own husband, I feel nervous looking him in the eye sometimes. It is only when we are in a deep connection and I know he is listening to me and understanding that I trust him.

           I think it takes so much more for us to feel at one with others, because we think they do not accept us sub-consciously. We don't accept ourselves, inside first. We see others from how we see ourselves. That is why it is so important to be there for our babies, because they need our love to know that they are acceptable by others. It will shape their lives, how we make them feel. They are a fresh start, and do not have any biases or mistrusts about others. They are OPEN! We cannot cause them to close, because then they will not love themselves. :(.

          Where am I going. Oneness. When we can accept others and know we belong, we are no longer in the victim mode. We have promoted ourselves to EQUAL, and can love others for who they are without judgment. I am excited for this journey, and to learn to accept others in fully and not hide away from them.