Adoptees and Feeling Rootless

            I read in The Journey of the Adopted Child that biracial children adopted by white families often feel racism from all races because of not having a strong belonging anywhere. They described it as not being rooted or feeling grounded, so unlike a biracial kid who doesn't look as black and who gets picked on but feels confident in who they are despite it, the adoptee loses footing much more when picked on.  This is what I always felt- picked on for not looking like my family but it affected me so much more because of knowing I didn't belong.

          Lifton also says that when adoptive parents hide the child's heritage from him, it causes a feeling of not being born and feeling entitled to act out or steal because of the subconscious trying to "take" from the mother that it lost. I definitely did that, feeling no remorse for my misdeeds. I felt like a piece of trash that was not needed, so I acted like one to prove to myself who I was. She describes this as "getting to the root of the dead baby inside." Very interesting to me. I guess we act the way we believe we are. I am changing that belief by knowing where it comes from.