Noticing How People Can Put Their Moodiness On Others

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I noticed how people are affected by other's moods by how my grandmother's moodiness and how my parents acted when we visited. My mother's father was very seriously sick and barely looked up and they acted all nervous.

I feel lucky that I know my moods and don't live in ongoing pain like them that it is normal.

Some people just expect you to lift them up emotionally, and are always tense without people. Like how my grandmother was facilitating visitors at every moment for her husband because he could not be alone for one minute. They think they are responsible to live for others, and don't know they can live without constantly doing everything for others.

My mom triggered me when she was soo upset inside that we were leaving, as she was being with my father all day long because God forbid she live for herself. I felt drained just being with them, how they lap up attention from us. The minute we came she barely looked at us and told all the nurses, who adore and admire her outwardly, "This is my grand-daughter!" Everything that is given from them is with expectations of getting back. I have no interest in giving them anything. Have to protect my energy.

Same with my in-laws. I do not want to be all sweet to them, because then I get dragged into their sphere and atmosphere of being upset because THEY are.

It is not even that it is their fault, that they are so down and do not know how to be happy. They are not trying to hurt me. But I get hurt by their annoyed feelings, so I just withdraw myself and am more in-tune with myself. It feels better.

We don't have to live for others. They don't appreciate us for who we are, so there is no point and a waste of energy. I need to be there for my sweet daughter. I don't care about what others are feeling if it imposes my own energy. I know my daughter appreciates it and loves me for it. It does matter because then she will be able to protect her own energy and have ability to say "No" when she means it.

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