Stuck, Trying to Embody my Full Emotional Self

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I really think that until a person knows their full selves they will not be able to grow upwards. Like Teal Swan says in Blowing the Whistle on Spiritual Teachers... That false "spiritual Gurus" tell people how to act but they themselves are not there yet because they bypass their emotions instead of going through the pain of figuring it out. I so agree, and I feel that most people in the world are doing this at least from what I have seen/see. If they were truly spiritual, they would not look down and judge others without listening to their pain. I rarely came across a truly understanding and helpful spiritual teacher. And the few I did come across don't have time for me but they are rare. Truly wanting to see me for where I am and pull me up without making me feel shamed.

I still feel soo much shame for my shortcomings I can barely face myself in them. They pulled me down the entire day. I do the spiritual bypassing where I am in the 11th dimension or whatever that means. I start to HATE myself. It is awful. I have no one and feel nothing but hatred for myself during those times. I need more self compassion and understanding. Because the thing is, we are all our own creators of our reality and cannot rely on anyone else fully.

I need to go into my cut back emotional self, and bring it up to the development stage I should be. With more patience and understanding of my physical and emotional needs, since no one was there with me as a child and I cut myself off from them. Sigh.

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