Cognitive Dissonance

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This cognitive dissonance about having to be normal to others drives me crazy. I feel bad for being angry and unreal to myself because of it. I meet an uncle in the store and I can tell we are both being fake. I act shallow to the hostess because I feel uncomfortable with my sadness in front of her. I feel unallowed to express myself. It builds up and I try to escape the overwhelm by eating. I feel worthless. Affirmations don't help. Talking to birth father and very flat. Feel miles apart from him and were still acting friendly like were close. It feels empty every where.

This shadow is hard.

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