True Relationships Are Not Public

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I realized that true relationships are the ones that are private and not outwardly known and shown. When we have to act like we care it shows something is off with our trust. Just knowing is intrinsic and you don't have to act it all the time.

A friend of mine is always very excited to talk and see me, and I act that way back but I feel it's off. Because I barely know her intimately or trust her. We are just friendly since we were children. She is my oldest friend that I still speak with. I think she assumes we are good friends, but I don't feel that close cuz I am fake a lot with her. We haven't seen each other much since I moved.

But when you feel it's there you know it. Such as with my birth parents. No matter what we know we love one another. I see that she calls me because she wants to and not in an unhealthy way. It's natural. Unlike with my adoptive mother. I do not like answering her sometimes because it feels fake. Such as when she talked about how my birth father looked bad in the picture I sent. I held myself back from answering because I realized that I had a choice. My old instinct was to act all kind to make her feel good. Now I don't answer if I don't want to.

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