BabyBoomer Societal Narcissism and Repression of Self

About seeing people as equal to you. Even your baby daughter. I realized from Ollie Mathews' video called Shadowbanning and Societal Narcissism where he said that people who follow the media and are left wing all are just like Narcissistic abuse victims who are just waiting for their parents to love them, but it is never going to happen. They are still leaning on the hope that they will get love so they are letting the media brainwash them. This is soo true and I have felt it so with all the people I know that live in a "make believe" reality where they think that everything they are taught and regulated such as vaccinations and eating unhealthy, processed, pesticide ridden foods are normal and the only way. I used to be that way too.

I too did not question my parent's love for me, and took their emotional absence and anger fits and dysfunction as "love." Now I know that it is not, and it is abuse, I am relieved and can trust my intuition and inner voice more. And I do not take it anymore. As much lol. I need to separate more. But my eyes are open!

And I realize that just because authority and minority agree with something, it does not mean that it is correct. And if I do not like something I question it. I fear for people walking around pandering to the babyboomer societal narcissistic generation, and then being insecure about their own self and needs. It makes them fearful and sensitive to any sense of rejection because they do not see themselves as worthy of being human and an equal.

They so don't trust themselves that they feel that people who look smartly dressed and have professional jobs are always in the know and correct about things. They start fumbling and saying weird words in their presence, just like a child to an authoritative figure. They never got over being seen as small and naive. My mother constantly acts this way and tries to impress everyone she meets, paranoia and mistrust abound. With little children, she just sees herself as all-knowing and in authority of them. It is honestly so cringing-worthy. She has no clue how to truly relate to them. That is what happens when people are disconnected from their own emotional bodies.

I was watching YouTube videos about Aware Parenting, and I literally started crying. All the uncertainty of if I was being a good loving mother came out, and I saw that I was not alone and this was a great thing. The children looked free and uninhibited by the grownups that they loved. As one person said, they grow up knowing that people love them and they have confidence in humanity. I try to let my daughter follow her instincts and trust herself as much as I could. Let her feel powerful and confident in her abilities to create and connect with others as much as she could. I never want to treat her with anger and violence, because then she will feel unloved by me and have a break in our bond. As Onision said, in The Truth about His Children... That he remembered being spanked and feeling low self-worth, and it is not a way to show your children the right way to behave by behaving like a tantrumming, angry toddler yourself. Yes!

I still encounter people who look down on me, "You are going to hurt your back by carrying her," and "You sleep with her?? She'll be in your bed forever..." or just plain give me snarky, disapproving or disgusted looks for how I look. It sucks but I am learning that they are severely damaged and disconnected from their source- of love and connection to emotions of theirs and others. I no longer have to pander to them or accept their judgement. I am human and trying.