Not being Attached to things As "Mine"

The minute you connect to something as yours, you are affected by it. Had a disturbing dream about my father embarrassing me as a kid, worst than anything in real life... basically, he was acting childish and everyone thought he was insane, and my main feeling was deadly shame at being his daughter. He was being creepy and boundary-imposing towards all the people, as well as shaming to himself. TG I don't consider my self connected to him now. I guess it was just a leftover memory my subconscious was spewing out for me, showing me my past and how I felt inside because of it.

It is a childlike thing to do, to associate yourself with your parents. Unhealthiness comes when you cannot separate yourself and form your own identity.... If the parents never believe in you being whole on your own it'll be harder to separate. Enmeshment comes in until hits you that you don't have to take the script they made for you. I see this with grown "children" who are still scared of their parent's opinion, and live subconsciously for them, still molding into the script of how their parents see them. They are scared of change, and stick with what is comfortable to them. My sister is like that, even though she may claim to herself that she is her own person,  she still has anger issues left over from how my parents treated her, still feeling unimportant and the need to be perfect. Enmeshment comes when you are beaten down to only being treated well when you act a certain way, and so you learn to discard your other parts that were not accepted out of shame, and then you get so insecure about yourself as a whole that you feel you are worthless and need to do what they say, like stockholm syndrome.

I believe in my daughter only because I do believe in myself. To be a whole person who can be great on her own. I see how my mother's enmeshment made her have harder time accepting that. And of course my father, who sits in a rehab home totally dependent on others because he feels so at mercy to the universe.

The more you feel powerful to affect your life..the more you can see yourself as whole person. Not to just flow along the tide of "how things should be done." you feel like an individual soul, and confident in your ability to do what your soul calls for you.