When Others Hold you Back from Seeing Happiness

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Some parents only love their children out of obligation, as Teal Swan says in this week's video, and when the child has any extreme of feeling, the parent does not let it exist. Such as, if the child is happy, parent won't tolerate it and knock it down, because they subconsciously need the child to stay at their feeling level- unhappy. This causes the child to only feel loved when they are unhappy, or neutral feeling, and the notion of success or happiness brings terror of isolation. Also, they can not be too unhappy, because that is not allowed either with their parents, as it is all about the parent's emotions.

How selfish can parents be, that they do not let their kids live because of their own inability to see outside their own views? The parent should acknowledge that they have issues and pain inside and work on their own feelings. Instead of making their kids take care of them.

I guess I grew up in this environment, subconscious as it was, and my parents never saw me as potential for greatness. My mother always criticized my flaws. I never felt good enough to do anything. I guess that is why I have fear at the thought of succeeding in life, that it will cause isolation. I am already isolated and it feels like hell. I keep thinking is it worth it, but I know it is when I can see my pain separately from others for once.

Recovering from codependency is the best feeling in the world, because I finally feel good enough, as Lisa Romano talks about. I no longer do things for others, and mainly consider my own needs/ feelings. It takes a lot of strength, because I am used to seeking other's approval to "breathe," as she says. But knowing I can live for myself is the best feeling in the world, and it is why I continue trying. I no longer get enmeshed and do not know why I am doing things. I am able to discern other's feelings objectively now. I am less reactive. I can see that many people in the world are doing things for the outside view, and do not feel it inside. I am happy to know that this is not okay or normal, and I make sure my daughter grows up doing things with confidence of herself, and not for others.

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