Hair Wrapping Beauty and the Importance of Boundaries

It was amazing yesterday by the event for women who wrap hair.   I am still in shock and in recovery. To meet people who had the same ideas as me, and wanting to connect... It is too good to be true.
And the way the head of it wanted to get to know me... With total acceptance. I can hardly believe it. She said I would be a perfect person to be one of their saleswomen, because I have the personality they look for. Not pushy and kind and quiet.  I soo appreciated it. I am so used to being seen as too timid or too something, never what people want... When I mentioned how hard it was for me in the city I lived to be myself, because I am so much judged for my decisions because people value the opposite most of the time, she sighed and rolled her eyes like it was a problem here. She said she can not speak in this city because the people look at her as an alien or someone trying to do something illegal. That was why she has stressed that she was not out to say we were the only right way of being religious, and that we all had to let one another be themselves and chose what they wanted. If hair wrapping suits you, then you are welcome to join. I was in rapt attention loving her every word, that she noticed it and told me. This shows how our energy can be truly seen for what it is.

Some highlights to what she said. She said she always loved covering her hair, because she had really gorgeous hair and everyone would focus on it first when they met her, so it was a relief to have it covered so that she could feel like her TRUE self mattered. She said women know that their inside matters and there is soo much more than their skin, and therefore we need to protect ourselves from being exploited. She said that when she went through a life and death medical issue and faced her mortality, she told herself that to leave this world without teaching people what she knew, her gift of hair wrapping, she would feel her life was a waste. I so appreciate how she said all us women have insecurities of ourselves, and have a hard time saying what is good about us. She said we need to start to do that more, and clean out the parts of us that we feel are bad and not worthy of our love. You could tell she truly meant it and her energy was calm.

I think it is so true that the world exploits women because we let ourselves be taken advantage over, by not protecting our inner beauty and letting our outer beauty rule. I heard a Rabbi say that modesty saves our marriages, because we keep it for our husband and keep our inner beauty sacred so people respect us. He also said that when we refer to ourselves, we are connected to our inner experiences, but in reference to our outer bodies we use an extra barrier to relate to it.

I also agreed that when I started wearing head wraps, I was more myself and felt free. I no longer was a copy of every one else, doing and acting like they did to "fit." That was from codependency and baby needs. She also said women know exactly what looks good on them, strangely, she finds, because we all know ourselves. I love this and it takes a load of pressure off having to follow others. She said that she doesn't think about what others will think and just wears what she feels. She is an introvert and loves to get dressed according to how she feels. I liked how I was able to feel comfortable and myself when I spoke to her, knowing we both valued acceptance and inner strength. She said women bring spiritually to the world, as we all know, and are a force to their homes.

I am excited with the friends I made, I feel it will strengthen me to be myself more when I have people who accept/validate me. It is a relief. The thing was, I found myself wasting some energy by talking to some people who did not resonate, and I felt not seen by. Such as a woman who was talking my ear off about how lovely it was when women can change their look with different colors and ways to wrap their hair, and I felt she was missing the point. I saw that a lot of us fake conversation and interest because we try too hard to seem polite, not to offend the other... But we end up cheating ourselves because we aren't authentic. I can feel when other people are not being true, and just filling in air nervously. Such as jittery screams of enthusiasm, and premature hugs. I see how awkward it is. I think the more confident about who you are, the less fake you will act. Because truly, nobody wants you to not be yourself, it makes them uncomfortable, unless they are narcissists and are not interested in the real you. It pulls your self respect down, and you lose your sense of direction due to trying too hard to be nice.

My mother was like this, ingraining in me that you had to think everyone was nice, and ignore your intuition of a bad vibe. So I didn't trust my gut to pick and chose who I wanted to really talk to, thinking everyone was equally good. This got further confused when a therapist told me that I had to be equally friendly with everyone, and that having one special friend was unhealthy... Without specifying that for me it was doing damage because I was emotionally needy and did not have the tools to trust myself to pick healthy friends. I now know that it is okay and normal for people to trust certain people more than others, and develop closer ties with ones you can gain from emotionally and spiritually.