Hard Time Accepting

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Does the world really contain these evil monsters that call themselves people? The ones that have no conscience whatsoever, and only listen or care about you if you praise them? And they cut you down with out batting an eye. And blame every one else and always have to be the right one.

If someone would tell me I hurt them, I would never block them or ignore it. I may take some time if I am steaming, but always see their POV. Not like my ex friend, who after 6 years still does not see how she hurt me.

What is this world? I guess I need to sidestep people and not give myself over to soul murderers. Am I programed for it or am I over doing it? I still can't seem to draw healthy people into my life. I still have fragmentation in me that has hard time believing people can act good to me and true about it.

I am thankful that I am not like those people though. That I have enough self esteem to admit my mistakes. How do they come to being that way? I worry about my daughter's personality now, because she seems to have a hard time showing sadness. So then I don't notice when I am ignoring her and hurting her. But she was hurt because she is antsy all day after.

How can I attract normal people in my life and truly connect with them? It is so hard. I feel like they are rare. But now I know how to spot them because I don't take bs from people anymore. I see clearer with my new view.

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