Blind spots in Aware Parenting as a MO
The other day, I was thinking of how I need to be aware of when I am operating from a blind spot and not being able to see my child's emotions due to it. As much as I tried to rack, I could not think of any positive outlook on the situation, my daughter was depressed and I just could not bring myself to accept it. Voices in my head told me I'd never get to the root of her feelings; that I was doomed for failure as a parent.
I guess a blind spot for me is seeing my daughter inconsolable and it triggers my own feelings of never-ending depression, so I fall into bleakness and not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Therefore, I block seeing her feelings, thinking they are unmanageable and it's projection. Because, as Marion Rose says, your child will be okay if you just keep showing them that you can hear their feelings even once, but for me I feel hopeless of all change in this state, and so I give up any effort in trying.
Just getting into my perception of what happened is good, because it makes me realize a big thing. That everything really can turn out fine, and even good. These times are just blind spots, like a big truck rolling down the highway unable to show its' blind spot of danger lurking. We just have to be extra careful in driving our trucks, and we will be safe on our journey.
A few hours later, after talking about the feelings with my husband, who said some encouraging things that I needed to hear such as that I am doing my best and I wallowed in my self-denigration of my childhood beliefs, he helped me recognize that I was in a blind spot! It was such a relieve to come out of.
I am just not used to happiness as being my main state of operation. Past modes of being in tight self-constricted boxes has it's way of creeping back up when I do not guard my mind. I have to remember that my mind is a sacred temple, and it is my choice what I bring in there to focus on,
We are fragile, us fragmented souls.
Until next time,
Adoptee Heart
I guess a blind spot for me is seeing my daughter inconsolable and it triggers my own feelings of never-ending depression, so I fall into bleakness and not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Therefore, I block seeing her feelings, thinking they are unmanageable and it's projection. Because, as Marion Rose says, your child will be okay if you just keep showing them that you can hear their feelings even once, but for me I feel hopeless of all change in this state, and so I give up any effort in trying.
Just getting into my perception of what happened is good, because it makes me realize a big thing. That everything really can turn out fine, and even good. These times are just blind spots, like a big truck rolling down the highway unable to show its' blind spot of danger lurking. We just have to be extra careful in driving our trucks, and we will be safe on our journey.
A few hours later, after talking about the feelings with my husband, who said some encouraging things that I needed to hear such as that I am doing my best and I wallowed in my self-denigration of my childhood beliefs, he helped me recognize that I was in a blind spot! It was such a relieve to come out of.
I am just not used to happiness as being my main state of operation. Past modes of being in tight self-constricted boxes has it's way of creeping back up when I do not guard my mind. I have to remember that my mind is a sacred temple, and it is my choice what I bring in there to focus on,
We are fragile, us fragmented souls.
Until next time,
Adoptee Heart
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