Embrace Yourself through your pain

-
            The opposite of stuffing your emotions, repressing through eating, distractions, shopping, addictions, watching TV, is Feeling sadness.

            Sadness is a wonderful thing. It is a backdrop of dreariness, anger, pain, and alone-ness. It is walking into the forest, and staring at the trees in wonder. It is realizing that there is nothing, no one, who can comfort you but yourself. It is embracing that, and loving yourself in silence and loneliness.

           I first experienced that as a child. I ran to places to hide, so I can be alone and in peace. In peace with myself, so I can be at peace with the world. The cold, lonely, hurtful world. I could make it all shine, and be a better place to live for myself.

          Someone said, when you face your deep down subconscious soul feelings, you can be at peace with yourself and love yourself. You live in a whole new identity, than if you had been shutting it out. The deep pain you feel, and the trauma you went through that is still in you, a part of you, gets healed and makes room for self-love.

          What a Day by Greg Laswell reminds me of my pain during my childhood.

           So Long,
           An Adoptee Soul

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Limbic Brain Flashbacks From Trauma

-
There is nothing without love. Life starts within the mother’s womb, where she and her child are one. She is all he knows, and he needs her to develop his emotional brain, until he can become an autonomous self. Therefore, why are the role of women so inferior in society? They basically make up a human’s development of skills, true self-worth (that they are loved by another person), and growth potential.  Nancy Verrier says in Coming Home to Self that the experiences we have during the first three years of life “play a big part in our overall attitudes and beliefs” (Page 382). Personally I felt beaten down a lot, in my emotional body and ability to use my strengths of giving love. I feel like a shadow of a person, in this world, my skills and worth invisible to myself and to everyone else. This has to do with my suffering from the primal wound of being relinquished from my biological mother, and then adopted when I was a few months old. Verrier states, “Severing of the bond with th
Read more

Drama Queens

-
The funny thing is all the relatives come running together when a funeral happens. Even though they are not close. It is all in the sake of guilt and Mommy -Daddy love. But they never truly felt loved. So they grasp at straws, not realizing that it is not there. It is a codependency thing, from being raised that way. To be a pawn for their needy parents. And they show it to their own kids, always letting themselves fly with their emotions. Hysterical crying, huge drama letups, screaming about silly things their kids do... It is so childish. My older cousin boasted and blew up about how her kids tried to make her feel better the morning after she had been sobbing over her grandfather's death, so they made her a breakfast and wrote in the card, "(Grandfather) he died, do not cry. Have a good day." Maybe I am paranoid, but it felt to me like the kids were playing the role of parenting their parent. Because they needed to grow up quickly. You always find a hollowness in their
Read more

I Matter, How Energetic Waves Affect People

-
I am learning that I make a difference and matter even though all my life I have been taught that I don't, through being adopted and a "pet" not deserving to feel my feelings, and feeling again and again like a second class citizen. I see it all around me now how other people feel unworthy and like they are separate from other people, because I no longer feel like that is my normal, so I see how other people feel it more clearly and I feel bad for them. Once you are out of something, you see it more clearly and prevalent in others. It drives me crazy all day because I want to teach them the way to change. I saw today how a woman was enmeshed in a store when she asked her coworker like a child, "What should I eat for lunch?" And she was told, "A salad." Promptly. As if this grown woman was her mother. And then I realized people take this so casually, not seeing how strange it is. When people do not know how to make their own decisions and rely haphazar
Read more