A Small Vessel Cannot Handle Blessing Bestowed to It

-
         A child's vessel can only hold so much so when they are screamed at they won't understand why and it'll affect their self esteem. What goes in must come out as Lisa Romano says. They are soo fragile that anything said to them hits them harder than their mature adult counterparts. 

             Interesting knowledge that lead me to another observation. It is said that G-d can only give us what we are able to take in. The blessing is waiting to be bestowed- we only have to OPEN OUR EYES to take it. What does this mean? Many of us have been taught to believe we don't deserve, or are not worthy, or love. We will be the devils beating ourselves up inside no matter what good or compliments come our way. Against common belief, it is NOT others who hold the key to our self-knowledge. What we know and believe about ourselves lay in OUR HANDS!! So if you have a very wavy, shaken belief about your greatness or worthiness, you will get DESTROYED IN THIS WORLD BY THE OUTSIDE WHO WANT YOU DEAD AND TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD. They laugh and mock every ounce of good you display and shut down any hope you have for soul-love. Which means doing what your true inner soul desires for you. It is deep deep down in all of us, like a beaming blinding light that wants GREATNESS AND INFINITE LOVE. But we can serve it and be true to it and project it outward if. We. Love. It. And that'll only happen if it is encouraged and let to be seen and shone when we were little.

         That's why kids are so pure. They are closer to having just been created, so their light is sparkling squeaky clean. Slowly, hurt upon hurt tarnishes it's shine and it cries until it is snuffed away. But it's still there, waiting, oh waiting, to be seen and broken free from the shackles of hate and venomous pride. We have to tell it that it is okay to be seen, it will never be snuffed again, we will take care of it. 

         Of course, this needs to be sincere because all it can resonate with is truth. It is smarter than anyone knows, and if it does not feel safe it'll shut itself down again. A person has to be clever and know how to get to their soul to lift it up. 

          So when a person brings their inner soul up, they will be able to take what is bestowed to them, and know they deserve it. It takes a ton of work, and breaking of the egoistic defenses, cracking hardened cement of pain, guilt, shame, lust, anger, or whatever desires that block it for that particular person.

            But once you do, you will see that it was all yours all along to take.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Limbic Brain Flashbacks From Trauma

-
There is nothing without love. Life starts within the mother’s womb, where she and her child are one. She is all he knows, and he needs her to develop his emotional brain, until he can become an autonomous self. Therefore, why are the role of women so inferior in society? They basically make up a human’s development of skills, true self-worth (that they are loved by another person), and growth potential.  Nancy Verrier says in Coming Home to Self that the experiences we have during the first three years of life “play a big part in our overall attitudes and beliefs” (Page 382). Personally I felt beaten down a lot, in my emotional body and ability to use my strengths of giving love. I feel like a shadow of a person, in this world, my skills and worth invisible to myself and to everyone else. This has to do with my suffering from the primal wound of being relinquished from my biological mother, and then adopted when I was a few months old. Verrier states, “Severing of the bond with th
Read more

Daughter and Projection of Anxiety

-
My daughter was anxious as me when we got back. I wanted to write a whole letter to my Rabbi about the community ignorance of emotions, and she was not falling asleep. I was kind of on edge and finished it. Then she ran around the house and I made myself some food even though I snacked earlier. She started squishing the cherry tomatos, and I recognized that it was from her frustrated emotions so I said to her, "You're angry right?" And she delighted and repeated the word and squeezed some more on them with her fingers. I winced inside a bit from the waste, and tried to focus. It was good that I was trying to validate her a bit, unlike how I was never validated at all for my grief as a baby. But it was hard because I was stressed. Needed time to myself and yet she needed my attention... And I felt a spiral coming. I desperately tried to hold on to myself and her. My mind was telling me that she was needy and that I was doing a bad job. But my heart was screaming for focus
Read more

Who Are Adopted Children Really

-
          Is it any wonder that the adopted child feels so unreal. Journey of The Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton inspired me to think about this. Reading the first few chapters and so excited with it. It speaks to my soul and resonates, being truth to me. She said that no one romanticizes mothers more than adoptees. As a blind person who tries to imagine how the sun looks upon a flower, the adopted child never experienced their mother, so there is plenty to imagine in their minds what it means. True, and why I have a hard time understanding the concept of true belonging.        As my older also adopted sister told me, why am I sad about adoption? I should just be happy and apply the knowledge that it was for my good, and a wonderful thing that I was adopted because   she my birth mother could not take care of me properly for her life. She expected me to just not feel sad about that and deny all the pain and feelings of non-belonging and yearning for a place in the world all of
Read more