Feeling Other's Pain When Connected
When you cry you release stress hormones from your body that came from trauma. If you don't cry it out they will have to be utilized some other way, because the body needs to balance out chemicals. So a person will either get sick, do allot of physical activity, or become outwardly aggressive etc. This is why it is important to help our children learn to express their grief and not repress it. Pete Gerlach of sfhelp.org says that all of life's struggles come from not having had effective parenting, which includes teaching children to express grief.
The reason we become disconnected from our children is because we cannot truly feel their pain, because we have our own blocks in feeling our pain which prevents us from accepting theirs. As aware parenting, by Aletha Solter, explains that parents use control patterns of distracting their children from their pain, because they subconsciously have blind spots from seeing it due to their own non acknowledgement of it in themselves. So this prevents them from letting their children feel the pain, and it is blocked in their bodies causing excessive stress they must be released in other ways such as aggression and addictions.
If the mother truly saw the child's pain she would feel it too and have to cry it out. Because she loves her child being that she is part of her. If we all loved one another we would feel the same stress inside when they feel troubled.
Being that people are disconnected from their pain they cannot feel it when others have it. The more disassociated inside the more they will be indifferent to others. This is why adverse childhoods cause anti social behavior in people.
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