Tears Has To Come From Breaking Your Ego

-
         I think tears come when a person is broken down from their ego, and they acknowledge their fallibility. It is when they give up on all the illusions that they are in charge of everything in life, and acknowledge their powerlessness. They give up on the fight of their rights, and just see that they are in a low place. Until one can see that, they will not be able to cry because they will be set on their ego.

         We all have pain, we all have hurts in our lives that make us react too strongly to. That we have to defend, that bother us. However, if we ignore reality that we are mistaken and not following our true higher self. That wants love and acceptance.

          When we cry, it releases stress and we feel better. We are happier when we are no longer seeing things as hopeless, because that's how we felt before the tears. We can embrace our fallibility and accept that we are human, making things more clear and dropping our need for CONTROL.

         I think for adoptees this is extremely hard to get to, because we have so many ego blocks that we hold onto because we feel so small inside. So it makes us feel the need to pretend that we are perfect, because we are scared of not being worthy. But it is an illusion, because we are just as good as everyone else but we just don't see it because of our denial of birthright.

          I wish I could admit my flaws better and let go of having CONTROL over every aspect of my life... Because when I disappoint myself, it is hard to face. I wish I didn't have to protect my ego so much.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Limbic Brain Flashbacks From Trauma

-
There is nothing without love. Life starts within the mother’s womb, where she and her child are one. She is all he knows, and he needs her to develop his emotional brain, until he can become an autonomous self. Therefore, why are the role of women so inferior in society? They basically make up a human’s development of skills, true self-worth (that they are loved by another person), and growth potential.  Nancy Verrier says in Coming Home to Self that the experiences we have during the first three years of life “play a big part in our overall attitudes and beliefs” (Page 382). Personally I felt beaten down a lot, in my emotional body and ability to use my strengths of giving love. I feel like a shadow of a person, in this world, my skills and worth invisible to myself and to everyone else. This has to do with my suffering from the primal wound of being relinquished from my biological mother, and then adopted when I was a few months old. Verrier states, “Severing of the bond with th
Read more

Daughter and Projection of Anxiety

-
My daughter was anxious as me when we got back. I wanted to write a whole letter to my Rabbi about the community ignorance of emotions, and she was not falling asleep. I was kind of on edge and finished it. Then she ran around the house and I made myself some food even though I snacked earlier. She started squishing the cherry tomatos, and I recognized that it was from her frustrated emotions so I said to her, "You're angry right?" And she delighted and repeated the word and squeezed some more on them with her fingers. I winced inside a bit from the waste, and tried to focus. It was good that I was trying to validate her a bit, unlike how I was never validated at all for my grief as a baby. But it was hard because I was stressed. Needed time to myself and yet she needed my attention... And I felt a spiral coming. I desperately tried to hold on to myself and her. My mind was telling me that she was needy and that I was doing a bad job. But my heart was screaming for focus
Read more

Who Are Adopted Children Really

-
          Is it any wonder that the adopted child feels so unreal. Journey of The Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton inspired me to think about this. Reading the first few chapters and so excited with it. It speaks to my soul and resonates, being truth to me. She said that no one romanticizes mothers more than adoptees. As a blind person who tries to imagine how the sun looks upon a flower, the adopted child never experienced their mother, so there is plenty to imagine in their minds what it means. True, and why I have a hard time understanding the concept of true belonging.        As my older also adopted sister told me, why am I sad about adoption? I should just be happy and apply the knowledge that it was for my good, and a wonderful thing that I was adopted because   she my birth mother could not take care of me properly for her life. She expected me to just not feel sad about that and deny all the pain and feelings of non-belonging and yearning for a place in the world all of
Read more