Life Is Also About Painful Times

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Life is not just about the good times. It is also about the sadness, pain, fear etc. It is mainly all about YOU. The person that is living your life. If you do not have your own self interest in mind, you will fall to anything other's want from you. If you live to help others only, to gain approval of them, you will never rest because you'll keep running to everyone else's whims until the discrepancies will show up. I realize this more now because of how life keeps hitting me with feelings of pain and I keep running from it and it does not make me happy. It is all a show, pretending everything is good to myself. I have been doing it for years. It is second nature to me. I am trying hard to internalize that bad times are acceptable and real just as much as good times. Because otherwise, I will not be able to appreciate the good.. because in the back of my mind the bad is lurking there, waiting to jump out at me. But I know that I need to take advantage of my life now, and my beautiful baby daughter who gives me so much joy. If I do not, I will look back in regret. The years are really so short and in the end, all that matters is how you acted with each person in your life, and the good that you brought them. I think this is encouraging and helpful to keep in mind. My baby will not be dependent on me forever, she will soon have her own voice and grow up to become a woman just like me. How I treat her now will shape her either in an either beautiful, okay, so-so, average, no-good, awful etc. way. She will either please her fellow people or heaven forbid hurt them. I really really hope she will turn out healthy and happy, but that is all dependent on how I treat her. And I do not want her to resent me for my work, or to look down on me. I want her to feel good and connected to me, and learn good from me.


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