Seeing The Results Of Uninterrupted Present Time With My Daughter

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          I saw how when I was calm and present with myself, my daughter was too. She barely got overwhelmed on the plane ride, and I spoke to her lovingly and  jokingly, not tense at all. I felt more content too, and I tried to keep in mind that nothing was in my control and things were going well as long as I was together with my loved ones and we were safe. So what if she wasn't sleeping the entire time, and woke up at 5:30 am because we had to leave for the airport on time for our flight? When we were in the cab home, she was still happy, and eating her cookie curiously and in that present, having-all-the-time-in-the-world way that children do, and I took a phone call and left her side in her car seat. Ten minutes later, she started to feel antsy or something else bothered her, and she burst into tears. I felt happy that she was expressing herself, and jumped to her side to calm her and hold her. We got home right after, and she fell asleep. So she must have been cranky and tired.
           I noticed that when I didn't have my own issues going on inside, it was easy to see her and fully love her despite her crying. I just understood that she needed attention and care, as is normal for a baby, and I was able to be there. I saw that whenever I doubted my ability to soothe her in the past, and felt it was too large of a burden and an impossible deed, it was because I was full of my own needs and thereby felt burdened by her.

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