Small Breakthrough In My Relationship

            Crazy thing. It actually hit me that I can be attracted to my husband, if I let myself think about it and not have my vision impaired by his shortcomings so much. Such as his insecurities, which blind me because they remind me of my own, and I feel he is impaired and inept socially and at seeing others. And I got over my own feelings of being disgusted by sex because I saw men as pigs, due to past incidences. So I just stayed present, and focused on his good traits and what I loved about him. It actually worked.

            I read an awesome article about what the problems people have that block them from enjoying sex, and it was describing how past experiences had negative effects on how people experienced it. For example, a woman hated it because her father was incestuous, and it turned her off her body completely. Therefore, she hated when her husband acted all macho and touchy on her because it triggered those feelings. And in return, her husband was shamed over his manliness as a teen, and so he had to imagine that he was a "stud" that could turn on any woman, and it played out when they had sex and she rejected him. Once they were able to work through their past shames and feelings, they were able to understand where it comes from and be more present. This is very similar to how I felt too.

          The key to healing is knowledge, and applying it. When you know how you were traumatized or wounded, you can accept it and learn to feel less threatened in the present time by your past hurts.