The Warmth Of My Birth Grandmother

           I spoke with my biological paternal grandmother, and she sounds amazing and mentally strong. I was so happy, and glad that at least one grandmother I now know is giving and warm, not stuck in her own needs and wants. She barely let me talk, just went on and on about how I was special, and I should write about my life story because of my reunion with my birth father, and how she is happy with how sweet I am, and that my daughter is lucky to have me as a mother, and that I am and was always loved. I should not forget it, and I should feel it all the time. I realized that she understood how I felt, over all the other therapists and "wise" people I had in my life from the past. Maybe because she lived it, and was separated from me and therefore felt the spiritual loss. She was amazing, and I am proud of her. I did not say anything really, just my usual polite well mannered behavior, and she took over in praising me and telling me how much she loved me and how happy she was that I was coming to town to meet. She said, "We all love you no MATTER WHAT, and I am so grateful that you called me." I really needed that. There was no expectations, just unconditional positive regard. Wow I am still trying to process it. 

            She mentioned that she a aches all over from sickness, but she is still happy even though her life was not always good. I did not sense any neediness of validation, just a statement of facts. I appreciated that. I never know what to do when old people complain about their illness and ignore me. She did not do that at all. I look up to that, and hope I can be as strong.