Trusting Emotions Feeling Cut Off Inside

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        Last week Wednesday, on my trip to see my birth family. Nobody was showing, and I was sinking into the vortex.

        Lisa Romano How to trust your intuition -emotions is energy in motion. If parents stopped it the emotion got blocked and you are in resistance to it. Did not allow you to be your authentic self and be all you can be, magnetic self attracting energy and what you want. Need to go back and feel all your emotions. Tell yourself when you are feeling something that it is normal and okay to feel it. This way you are not in resistance and can feel the emotion and not react. Many of us are asleep and just reacting from how our parents hypnotized us. Because when we're little we learn what's okay and what isn't to feel.

          My emotions are taking over. I just wanted a family. But my birth parents barely feel like family. All these questions like did you want me am I important at all and how can you prove it? And even if you do,what good is it now? They are so diffwrent from me it's so taxing to have to find all the similarities. I'm starting to feel the worst pain like this was all God's plan to see us all born and raised with different parents. With our own issues and unique personalities, and that we really have no connection besides for some genetic DNA links. But we don't feel like family. We feel strange. And I never felt like family to my adoptive family either. It was always pretend and fake and everyone's kindness was only to make THEM feel good. But I never felt good. I always felt like an extra thumb. A bother that shouldn't exist. I didn't belong anywhere I always stood out on the side watching. Like a sea monkey. And now I feel like it again. How can I trust myself? How can I love my own daughter? Will anyone ever love me? Will I ever be in a family? 
My birth older cousin told me family is sometimes not the moat important, you don't always get along sometimes friends are better family. What if you never felt part of anything? How do you jump to step 100 after having nothing? 

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