Love as Unattached and Unenmeshed

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Teal Swan said yesterday when people grew up in certain cultures where they are loved with strings attached, not truly loved for them but rather brought into the world to fulfill certain roles, they learn to fear love. To them love means debt, or rejection. Every time they were loved it was not true love it was only for something back. So they hate hearing those words.

Sounds familiar to me. And I see it with others too. The fear and distrust at love. The needing to do favors, and shame and uncertainty if there is nothing to return. I also feel shame when people pay me compliments, because I see they need something and am not certain I can fill it. She said they get attracted to saving people because they don't believe they can give anything else of themselves, feeling they have no skills. Same. I am sick of the shame of getting things from others. I am working on taking and believing I deserve. This is what I need to do now. Take love. Self-love. 

I need more appreciation for who I am. This is the only way I will believe I have anything in me. To pass on to my daughter. I need to give to myself first. 

This way I can believe she deserves too. If I have for myself first. I feel more able to give unconditionally. I need to believe it on the inside and then it'll be true outside. I hate how selfish our parents were. Thinking the love they gave us was all they could. They could have done better by loving themselves more. 

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