Love Overflow From Mother's Heart, Fills a Child Forever

         

           She only goes to sleep when he rocks her. He said the trick is that he always shows her that he sees her by copying what she does to get his attention. But she always falls asleep with a fight with him. But he rocks persistently. I try everything he does but she still stays up and even more interested in every thing around. So we fight by dinner accusing one another of not caring about our daughter. But we are both annoyed about it. About not being able to calm her. I am more accusing. I scream. He withers. I apologize and try to explain. Both admit to our feelings. An hour later she is even less ready to sleep.

          As I ly there on the bed with her moving around distractedly, I imagine how she doesn't love me. She is scared of my temper. I recoil inside. Listen to old, emotional melody. Though it is simple it strikes cords in me. I realize that love is truly the most wonderful thing we can have. I cry sadly over our lack. I yearn for her to come back to me. I feel horrible pain at how she must feel. I pick her up and try to face her but she shrieks and turns away protestingly. Like it hurts to love. To risk being vulnerable again. My heart shatters. I cry for help in healing her broken heart. I wish she can feel the love I feel for her. I know it is spectacular. I think of everyone else who is broken. I wish we can all feel our lovable-ness. My heart is bursting. I keep waiting for her to come to me but she never does, only to eat. So I finally take her and rock her to sleep. She falls asleep from exhaustion. Deep sleep. I hope my love for her is felt, deeply in her.