Repressing of Feelings is Connected to Spiritual Bypassing

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         Problem of living in survival mode and full of stress from daily life is because one thinks they are shameful for having feelings. It comes from repression and guilt of feelings. It comes from being belittled as a child for having the feelings, so shame from it and the need to stuff it away once it is approaching. This is done with spiritual bypassing, such as the telling oneself that they "must be grateful" for their lives, and that they "cannot feel sad because it is bad to be sad, and since they are 'perfect' they must be happy all the time." I am guilty of doing these things myself, too. All day pretty much. So I have to keep reminding and allowing my feelings to flow. Lisa A. Romano says that children learned to be shamed for their feelings by their parents discomfort or even anger at them for it, and it created energy blocking and having their feelings stuck in the body. Unable to get out. This is what causes them as adults to run from facing their feelings, as well.

        As long as we know the reason why we were blocked, and allow ourselves to let them go, we can always change. It is therefore most important to understand what happened to you in childhood, so that you can validate your story and stop self-blaming and internalizing guilt. As Lisa Romano says, "It is NOT your shame." When you were neglected in being able to express your feelings to a loving, listening person, it is not your fault. Allowing yourself to feel again and let the stuck pain flow out is the first step to healing. Open wounds are the only way we can heal. 

        I see that in myself, when I stop blocking the feeling and running for quick gratitude for feeling better, I am much calmer and can stop blaming all my issues on others. Such as taking out my anger and stress on my husband. It is painful to think, but it really is not his fault when things go wrong and the pain I feel is all coming from in me. And I relax and let the ugly truth wash over me. Every self-criticism and ugly distortion of reality. That I will never be good, never be happy, feel stuck in this loneliness. It is all feelings from the past that never had a chance to get out. And out they go with all my angry feelings and expression. Once I face them head on, they are not so scary anymore.

       We are all human, and it is normal for us to have feelings. It is only the guilt of having them that makes us feel worthless. Once we can admit to having them, and let them go in the open, we become humbled and truly in control of them. What you are aware of cannot control you. 

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