Self-Differentiation and Risk of Intimacy

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              People who have self differentiation, Jerry Wise says, are able to take more risks at greater intimacy and also risk of rejection. This is because they have an actual sense of self and don't feel they will be "worthless" if they get hurt by others. They are better able to discern who other people are instead of taking things personally and reacting from a projected view of things. He said that they have a zoomed of view of others, and this is explained by that they know who their ancestors were and how that affects how they see things. Amazing. So affirming in how ancestral background affects how each person develops. This is also why I need to discover my background more.

            When we are able to know our ancestor's flaws and do not turn a blind eye on them, we can discern what we want to continue doing and what we want to cut away. That's why it's crucial to not just accept all behaviors just because of idealization of parents and grandparents. This can only happen when a person becomes self differentiated and feels self worth, despite growing up with enmeshment.

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