Aliens

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          I have to trust in my own soul more, and have confidence in myself and my beliefs because they are not supported at all in the world around me. I have people who do not believe at all in what I do, and they think my ideas are bizarre and out of reality. It kills me that things are this way, and it is why I fall into those abysses like I wrote about the other day. I have no idea why my life is so complicated for me. It takes away my strength and I am left with nothing sometimes, to give myself and loved daughter. I have to stop being so hard on myself, because things are this way. Thinking about it, I do not think G-d gives up on me the way I think, because I do have it very hard. Only I know that.

         I listened to a speech about my religion, and emailed my mentor about my struggles. He said I should keep understanding that our religion is the only truth, and the other new-age ones do not have solid foundation. This I needed to hear. It made me realize that the world is different and wrong. And the people around me, even though they are majority, are wrong. It puts more trust in myself, and ability to believe.

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