Codependents Can't engender Excitement From Within, Barren on The Inside.

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         John Bradshaw said that when you are shamed, you have to be perfect and you have no shadow side. He said when people discover the reason they did this, they are relieved that they can embrace the shadow sides. "Addicts always believe that something outside of them is their happiness." Codependents have to constantly become what the other person is because they can't stand the other person not liking them. They instantly become LIKE the other person when they talk to them- you like bananas, I like bananas. They think that everyone is only perfect and don't see any shadow side -which every person has. My mother is like this- she always said to us that everyone was nice and did not allow us to say anything bad about anyone. She always told me that I had to believe everyone was nice. Care-taking and enabling is sever dishonesty. You are doing it so that your image of yourself is a good person. It is really because of your shame. My mother said that my Dad told her he wanted to remarry her in front of him, and then scolded me when I asked if she was ready to. She said Of course not, it is out of question, but then why did she love saying it?

       Kids are like orphans, and parents are the pillars of the community. That was my mother.

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