Going To City Of Birth Parents To Move There

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      I decided to take the jump. The opportunity. To go to my birth parent's city to visit and look into the houses there. It seems crazy, but since it is what I really want to do it seems perfectly good. We have a car for a few days, and I figured I'd take the opportunity.

       I am really nervous, because I don't want it to end up crashing and burning. I really hope I feel good about meeting my parents again. And not bored and let-down. I guess I have to be conscious and realize that it is healing and will not be perfect. My mind gets ahead of me because I want to be happy already. But happiness comes from doing the right thing, and slowly healing. The truth sets you free, and even if it's painful, or drabby, it is still real. 

        I need to do this to move out, and discover more about myself. A new setting with new opportunities. Maybe to meet new people. We booked a quite expensive hotel, but figured we could splurge after all we put ourselves through. It will take some time to make up the expenses, but I was not in the mood of banging on people's doors asking for place to stay (figuratively, but that's how I feel since I do not vibe well with our family friends there). Millions of thoughts running through my mind, but I am excited for change. I am terrified that it won't succeed. Terrified that I am making a mistake. I will need to be very conscious and awake during this time in order to not fall. I can get stuck in pressure of being stuck with my husband and travel, boredom, and or bad responses from people in that city or my family. 

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