Enablers

-
          Ollie Mathews says that narcissists try to get you to feel crazy by turning it all around on you, and then pretending that they didn't mean anything at all when you point the finger on them. You have to watch out for them because they can make you question your logic. This happens to me all the time, because I am around so many enablers. I started ignoring them, because I no longer want to wrack my brain to try to gain their sympathy. I just ignore them from now on.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Listening to Me

-
I had the time of my life with my toddler today. Just being present and loving every minute with her. I saw things through her eyes and enjoyed making her happy. This is true love. I know that nothing she could do would make me not like her. We went to the park, And there was a woman there with her 2 year old girl on the swing. My daughter make contact and wanted to sit near her. The woman's first red flag was that she lied to her friend on the phone, that she couldn't hear her well and wanted to go, when I started talking politely back to her about our girls. She could have just said she wanted to talk to someone there... And also, she said plurally that there were other kids here, when it was just my daughter. But I decided to be friendly, because we need human contact. She was very needy I saw by how she began totally enmeshing with my life by agreeing or disagreeing with me. I tried to stay objective. When I saw her being helicopter-like with her daughter, and her daughte...
Read more

Owning my Repressed Trauma

-
I get scared a lot that I project my emotions on my daughter, and to what extent is she feeling loved? I often get stressed out about everything in life, but I repress myself to meet her needs. It’s an instinct I have that I was raised with, hyper vigilance as a baby to meet my adoptive parent’s needs of me, so that I disowned my true self. Nancy Verrier in Coming Home To Self states, “hyper vigilance and hyperarousal are manifestations of separation trauma (Page 9). “A human baby is no more primed to be separated from his mother than any other mammal. ... it feels wrong... to both the baby and mother. Neither completely recovers from this abomination of nature” (Page 347). I constantly worry that my kid feels unloved. I have to remind myself that she is not adopted, and is genetically mine. It’s weird how all my life nobody accepted my reality of not having my biological parents in life, and acted like my adoptive parents was all I had and I was made to feel normal. It messes with ...
Read more

Inner World Creates Action World

-
My daughter was trying to get my attention. She was under the covers playing hiding with me, wanting to be close. I pretended to make my hand come in- I guess I was enacting what I felt was going on- that I wasn’t listening to her enough and she was hurt by me, so she was scared of the hand. She was yelping that it’s a monster trying to get her. She laughed so much, with all her pent up stress. It was fun for me too. Soon the hand switched to being her friend, and she pretended to invite it in to her under-the-blanket house, with my “knocking.” She then wanted me to ask her what she did, like a song we sing about the family fingers... and then I played back and asked her if I can go to sleep because I was tired. She said yes, and I rested my hand on her, wherever she felt comfortable. If she didn’t want me to touch her, I lay my hand down on my body. It went on for a while, until I started watching my thoughts as I realized I was in pain and stressed. I felt angry at myself. I recogniz...
Read more