Stuck in Misery taking Care of my Daughter

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            I am really frustrated at the moment. I am repressing certain feelings. My daughter needs my attention and I do not have it in me to give it to her. I had a hard morning, wanting to shop but my daughter wanting to stay home. I ended up forcing her to get dressed and going out, holding her so she wouldn't be too annoyed. I bought food, and had to carry it all a mile while holding her too. I was like what was I thinking, my stomach was growling but I hadn't wanted to spend money on lunch so didn't buy anything to eat. I got home, annoyed and hungry, ate some healthy food, and still feel annoyed and tired. Have no patience for her again. I was all big-shot this morning about how she knows I love her, but now I feel ordinary, stressed and confusing in this deep pit. It feels really painful, because my heart is pulled in two directions and I feel like splitting. I baked a cake, am waiting for it to be done, and am waiting for her to be tired so I can chill and be happy again taking care of myself. Sigh this is miserable I really wish I had stamina and patience for her. Whenever I try to play with her it feels like I am faking it. I am miserable. She keeps saying "sing" or "sink" and I have no idea what that means because I know she doesn't really like my singing.

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