It's Okay To Be Down

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         I find that the more we work on our narcissistic tendencies, the more we are open to other's perspectives. For example, when I listened to my inner feelings with wanting and needing time to process the trip home, I was more attune to my husband and child's needs and a better listener. Still both perfect of course though. I am still very self focused, and I guess that is normal and I cannot beat myself up for it. Knowing my needs creates healthy boundaries.

        Mark Smith and Rinda on Family Tree Brand Life Coaching Youtube channel this week were talking about the importance of knowing your "medicating" that you do for coping with the narcissistic abuse growing up. Figure out which you can let go of, and write it a letter such as saying "I met you when I was 4 and needed security and you have helped me through, but now we need to part..." It made me realize that there is no shame in having needs that we developed for coping. I see my birth mother as very self focused and unable to talk long to others. It shows how she deals with herself and I don't blame her for it after her pain, but it is hard to communicate. My father is fresh air in that he has so much more to say, but still not very deep or substantial. 

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