Knowing what You Want

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The more you learn to trust yourself and your gut feelings, the less ambivalent you become about choices. For example, I noticed that I do not question my posts on Facebook as much and I do not have the same nagging feeling of saying what others expect to hear as I used to. This is very good because it makes me confident, and not have to spend so much energy and time on doing things, so I am open to more experiences and friendships. It still hits me sometimes, like when I am unsure of what to do with my daughter and start questioning her feelings and how I hurt them.  But those are my low points and when I am confused about my needs and only acting out of what I "should" be doing...

I am seeing that more and more people in the world are becoming in touch with doing what THEY truly want, not getting caught in codependent places. Perhaps I am just more open to the idea... But I do see that when I follow my heart I do not care so much about what other people think.

For example, in the store today I was really hungry but did not want to buy unhealthy food, and that was 90 percent of what they were selling. I became hyper-aware of the cashier's expectations of me, and I kept hearing in my head that they were judging me as a fanatic person and was about to cave and just get a regular slice of pizza, which my heart did not really want. I knew inside that it would make me feel bad and more lethargic, and then I may get annoyed at my daughter... So I finally stood my ground and got a whole wheat slice, along with some salad. This was what I wanted and I triumphed, not caring what their reaction was too much. It is called being on my way towards self-differentiation.

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