I was put in foster care after my birth, and adopted at 3 months old. I am also Jewish and was raised Orthodox. This is my healing journey.
Ugh
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Stop the blame on others for their weaknesses it is always from childhood dysfunction and they were groomed that way. Until they wake up and are aware of how to change you can't blame them.
Trying to float in the negative feelings, reminding myself that sadness and despair isn't so bad... It's important to feel the feelings, but be able to float in them and not be in trauma vortex or flooded as Marion Rose says.... It's also imperative that we change our neuro-plasticity with good experiences if we want to heal cptsd and childhood trauma mindset as Richard Grannon says.... But how do I know how much feelings is too much and how I am reprogramming the trauma in my mind? It's a struggle. Fighting my feelings or letting them go. How much can I deal with them? The shame of not being perfect, the dread that I am wasting my life, the loneliness and emptiness inside when I feel controlled by my environment... When it's just my daughter not being able to go to sleep because I went out to the shops and left her in the carriage and she may have felt stuck and incapable of doing and now she might have that feeling her whole life becaus...
What the hell is happening in the world? I keep hearing how we are in a transitioning stage, and great shifts are happening. The world is preparing for truth to happen. People are becoming more awakened and conscious, about what life is really about. Victor Oddo on YouTube how since the Eclipse, people have been feeling really low and down. I agree, I have been having a very tumultuous past few weeks, and I feel this great need to DO things more to change in my life. I was on the phone with a costumer service rep, and he even seemed more cheerful and human than the other times I have spoken to some. It struck me that people can be so insecure with others, that even strangers whom they do not know or see can trigger them to feel rejected or unliked. I tried my best to seem happy and confident so as not to trigger or upset his mood, as well as tell myself that I was confident and happy to speak with another human being. ...
There is nothing without love. Life starts within the mother’s womb, where she and her child are one. She is all he knows, and he needs her to develop his emotional brain, until he can become an autonomous self. Therefore, why are the role of women so inferior in society? They basically make up a human’s development of skills, true self-worth (that they are loved by another person), and growth potential. Nancy Verrier says in Coming Home to Self that the experiences we have during the first three years of life “play a big part in our overall attitudes and beliefs” (Page 382). Personally I felt beaten down a lot, in my emotional body and ability to use my strengths of giving love. I feel like a shadow of a person, in this world, my skills and worth invisible to myself and to everyone else. This has to do with my suffering from the primal wound of being relinquished from my biological mother, and then adopted when I was a few months old. Verrier states, “Severing of the bond wit...
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