Birth Family Shares Traits and Gets Comfort in Togetherness

Magic happened. I spoke to my birth father yesterday, and he made me feel loved. I never felt this way before, like I was actually important to someone. As a daughter should feel. He really validated me and understood my pain. I had spoken to his sister earlier, and we spoke for an hour. Like it was always meant to be. I was her niece. Imagine that. She gave over lots of her feelings to me, about her life. It sounded sad. I was still a little detached but was trying to be nice. I still need listening too, is what I thought. But she was not fully ready to listen to all my pain. She validated my adoption as sad, and my birth mother's story as sad, and told me tragic details about my birth mother's bizarre behavior and lack of boundaries and self respect. I was perturbed. When she was ready to hang up I felt a rush of pain. Abandonment issues. I wanted to end well and listen to my feelings, as I heard myself on speaker. I told her about how adoption pain made me eternally lonely, and she denied it and said I should not have been because I had my adoptive parents care for me. I choked in my throat and said still.... But I sounded weak so I had to hang up. 

Father told me the most beautiful words: "She doesn't get it." It fit like a puzzle. My missing piece in life. We both stumble and are awkward but it's okay. No one is leaving. 

I watched my daughter's feelings and paid mind. Saw her sorrow when I took away the knife and apple she got a hold of and apologized. She threw lots of things down in frustration. I get it she is a toddler. I hugged her. My birth aunt also values loving your children fully and not dumping your pain onto them tell them how you feel has nothing to do with them, as her mother did not do at all with her. But she still believes in time out, which I say exiles a child.