People Have Lots of Sides

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The thing is, we judge ourselves and so think others are judging us. When we see ourselves as one dimensional, unrealistically. I was thinking of how I dress religiously and cover myself more than most, and although I try not to look ugly, I see that many people stare at me with shock. Like, I am some sort of priestess who has no emotions and desires of my own. It can really get to me and make me feel it's true and then idealize myself. I know it is not, and I wish they would see that I am normal and have desires like them. I wonder why all of society thinks that if women don't dress provocative they are not sexy or cannot be. I think it is so twisted, because what you see is not exactly what exists always. If I dress modestly it does not mean I don't have a body and never act sexual. I think it scares men and women who don't trust that humans can only have sex with one person. They want it all. It hurts me because I want to connect with people and I can't if they think I am so non-human.

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