Narcissistic Family and Babying Their Charges

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I was realizing through Ollie Mathews video about how the narcissist mother will always try to baby you to keep you in control until you are 40, and then they keep tryin to catch you in this trap even when you stop contact with them. This is similar to how my mother and father treated me- like an eternal child. They always babied, and said that I was not mature enough to get married and be a mother... I don't know how conscious it was, but it made me feel inferior and unworthy. I think it was my mother's own projection of never feeling enough for everyone.

It triggered me yesterday when my daughter wasn't listening and annoying me by being on top of me when I was resting.. I felt like she was smothering me and not letting me live, like my mother did. I got so triggered and pushed her. It was all day. From 2:30 till 9 that she wasn't sleeping. As usual but I feel like she is over sensitive and picks up on my mood so it us hard being a mother. I had fury inside and started helpless screaming crying. It was my trauma activated of never being listened to as a kid. The way she was blatantly not noticing my feelings and acting silly to get me to see her.

Spoke to my real Dad during it, and was complaining. He seemed to really care and not try to fix me like I am used to with other people I tell my issues to. I actually felt valid for mt pain. It was relieving. He said it is hard, but he is proud of me for being a good person and not caring much about money and being caring. I agreed and thanked him, that it would get better.

Sometimes I lose sight of reality and don't know what to do with myself. I need to relax and see that it is okay and I am a good mother. Unlike what my adoptive sister and mother said about me, that I was no good at every turn. And when I was good, they ignored me and emotionally abused me by pretending I was furniture. And then told me I was spoiled. No wonder I have a hard time believing in my self. My sister and family were also creepy about me looking pretty, as if that was the main thing about me. Always complimenting my looks. If they didn't approve of my dress or hair it was all they mentioned.

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