Feminine Power

I was thinking about femininity and masculinity recently. How we repressed one another throughout history... And I listened to Teal Swan about it in het video Nice Guys Come in Last. It is interesting to me... I do see how men who are repressing their leading, go-getter ways are not attractive at all to women, because women need someone to lead while they are receivers. It sounds ugly to me, but only because I repress my own need to get what I need.. I am definitely female lol. It does turn me off when someone expects me to lead. She said women were repressed in history by men, so they took revenge on their sons and made them compliant, fearful and unconfident in being themselves.

I watched my daughter and I definitely see how she waits for instructions and likes to have things her way, but also have compassion for other humans. It makes me proud of her femininity and how she is learning from my example.

Women are definitely more compassionate and nurturing by nature. It is ugly when they repress their nature and become judgemental, selfish and hateful. Such as refusing to see other's pain and validate it. It comes from fear of feeling pain, and the need to only be positive... But there is no such thing as only good and the world is made up of duality. Such as, adoption is a trauma because a newborn feels and losing his mother definitely affects him. All women know this subconsciously, and women who deny this are out of touch with their motherly intuition and instinct. Joe Soll says, "They are screwed up people." Lol. The only way to live in reality to to acknowledge reality... There is pain and there is also gratitude of course. No one said anything about not feeling good. But pain is there too, in adoption. It is time to own reality and other people's reality, too... That is true, complete love.

I am learning to accept my nature and receiving femininity. I see how when I am calm and loving, it encourages others and I could care less what the "strong" male-valuing society thinks. I am proud of who I am, and being different in my gentleness and confidence. Lol. Let them wait as I calm my daughter and let her hold the groceries in line without a fuss or impatience. It is me, and it is female power. When I struggled to conform to society, I used to excuse myself in being aggressive to get everything in "order" in public because I was aware others were watching.. But now I see that it is not my nature to be pushy. I am more emotional and thoughtful. I can be strong when needed, but there is no need all the time. Such as when my daughter needs to feel good being involved when we pay, and is bored in the stroller. It makes people smile to see surprising humanity in public, and not the usual stern/nervous rushing. Women are more gentle and creative, knowing expertly how to affect people's behaviors and emotions because of this.

I guess when I accepted my vulnerability, my true painful feelings I had buried down out of fear of other's unacceptance, and realized they were okay to have, I became stronger. This is who I am. Pain and others not accepting me... Will not kill me. I can survive on my own, lol and ironically I have... By hiding my true self all my life. Now I am letting it shine and loving it. And I receive more love than ever, even if it is only from myself. I feel confident and I believe in time I will attract more strong outer acknowledgement. So far, I have a bit and it is enough for now. Slowly... Through working on my anger and dissociation I am gaining confidence in feelings. Feelings of pain and vulnerability. Which is what I am by nature, and am more willing to accept.

After all, G-d hates when we go against our nature. It makes me wonder about all the women who are trying to appear buff and masculine, hating their very nature of expressiveness and vulnerability. It is sad that they hate their true nature and pretend it is non-existent. I am sure many males who are not repressing their masculinity would very much be attracted to their vulnerability and nurturing side..