Get to Know Myself

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I am at a point where I feel confident in myself. I feel like no one can mess with me and my inner child, we are a team force. Lol. I am so done with all the fakeness and lies in my life. Done with pretending to care to protect other people. The fact is that I have been through hell and deserve to be treated right. My adoptive mom is a joke now with all her excuses I can't even begin to say...

I told her about how I repressed myself due to how I was treated as a kid. How I was ashamed of my own femininity. And how if a mother does not love herself she will not be able to love her child- evident in how she used to beat me whenever she got mad. Her answer was; I am human what can I say. It infuriated me and my inner child. I told her off. I could not be so objective and calm. She is a broken adult and does not eve see it. It makes me feel like I'm the crazy one.

Get this. She told me that my adoptive cousin, her niece, was hurt and bothered by my behavior because I seemed to not want to be related to them anymore. I told her duh it was because I am adopted and have never felt related in the first place... She said yes but they want to understand and read some adoptee books. I say sure they can. Not my business. Just don't wanna hear about it anymore, I "did my time" lol. I am done pleasing everyone. Especially when it negates me. Time for them to know the real me. The angry misunderstood adoptee. If they don't like it I don't need them. Sigh adoption is messy. But they need to deal with their own issues and be upfront with communication... Which they are terrible at. Unhealthy people. I do not owe them anything.. Because I was adopted and the victim here.

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