North Nodes and Life Mission

I now see the importance of not shaming your child. Because I was shamed for who I was and I rejected myself so much that it hurt to be myself every waking moment sometimes. And I finally began accepting my real trait, one that I have ignored because of my self-hated of another side of me- my Taurus sun sign. Yesterday I was researching North node in Astrology, and I discovered that it was not your sun sign. It is your life purpose, and potential. And it goes according to your entire birth date-year included. So apparently I am Gemini, and my potential and North Node is Sagittarius. My two most hated/secretly envied and admired signs. I always felt most alienated from Sagittarius. Like it was a fire sign, that was always too brash and egotistical, totally ignoring how to treat others. After all, my adoptive parents and brother were all born in this month. And definitely ignored emotions.

But now I saw that Sagittarius is actually deeply spiritual and about the bigger picture. They are naturally inclined to be part of society and know what every one needs. It is so fascinating, that all along I was gemini deep down. Gemini is superfluous and quick, always bridging gaps between people and knowing exactly what to say. They can be manipulators and lie often because they know how to,  to get their way. Their weakness is also that they do not get closer to people and stay on a superficial level. I always felt this, that I feel uncomfortable around new people. They tend to want to stick to the people they know and are used to.

In order to get our of our comfort zone, the south node that we are natural at, like mine is Gemini, we have to move towards the opposite-the North node. So mine is Sagittarius, and it is about religion and ideas and traveling, meeting up with all kinds of new people. I am scared of this, but at the same time I already started doing it so I recognized it in myself. I moved to a country where I don't know many people, and spoke my truth and cut out my past friends and family who did not accept me. It was a big leap.

The point is, once you know yourself and your mission, you are confident and your heart feels bliss in life because you are changing. Reaching new heights. It also makes you more acceptable of others and want to help them achieve their life mission. You don't take it personally when they reject or don't listen to you, because you know your worth and don't need to prove it to others. When I stay stuck in my Gemini mode of trying to stick with people and gain approval, I feel low energy and sad about my life.. When I start being open and more light, seeing others for who they are and being open-minded, I find my potential and feel deep joy, ecstasy and pride. Sagittarius are the most truthful, and I have always felt my calling was to speak my voice without trying to please others.