Ego Needs and Subconscious Projection on Children
When people are not done with their own ego development, they cannot love their child fully. If they do not know what they are lacking in their ego development, they will not be able to understand and support their child in that stage. For example, if a person did not get the chance to explore as a child, and be innocent and curious as children need, and he is unaware of this need of his, he will suppress it in his child. People do onto others what they do onto themselves, and the only way one can love others is if he loves himself. John Bradshaw says in Healing the Shame that Binds You , toxic shame is where a person has grandiosity, and cannot see himself as human. It is either being either good or bad; “appear as narcissistic self-enlargement or wormlike helplessness.” It results from the “human will being disabled.” This happens through “the shaming of the emotions.” Emotions are meant to be discharged after an event triggers them, and then the intellect can make sense of it...